Ejaculation/Erectile Dysfunction - Premature ejaculation is
often anxiety related. It’s one of those areas of activity
where we can become too focused on performance, and the whole
thing can turn into one big worry. There are a number of
reasons that people can develop this difficulty. Sexual
inexperience is an obvious cause. Often this can be
counteracted by learning to calm down …to go slowly…to
know that you’re allowed to take a breather etc. Another
cause is that hormonal levels within young men (16-25) can be
very high thus causing overexcitement in the sexual situation.
Most often though, it will be an anxiety response which is
causing the difficulties. Sex, like sleep, is one of
those areas of activity in which the body knows what to do and
usually takes care of itself. I mention sleep because everyone
knows what it’s like to have trouble getting to sleep, and
then “trying” really hard to make oneself sleep. We all
know that the outcome of that trying is the exact opposite!
This is “the law of reversed effort” or “what you resist
persists” in action. When we try to use the conscious mind
to take control of a function which is by nature taken care of
by the unconscious mind, then we create tension and anxiety
and this creates a self perpetuating cycle of anxiety. Who can
focus on enjoying sex when there is a great deal of anxiety
attached to it….? And if there is anxiety, then as far as
the subconscious mind is concerned then there is probably
danger in this situation too, and if you the organism will
insist on having sex then the best thing to do is to at least
get it over and done with as quickly as possible so that you
can leave the “dangerous” situation sooner rather than
later. Thus the subconscious mind suggests a quick
ejaculation! Using the same understanding we can see that
anxiety too can cause erection difficulties or impotence.
Here, the subconscious mind will simply say that “Sex is out
of the question…too dangerous!” Treatment therefore
involves helping you to relax about having sex. What you need
to be able to relax will be very individual, so I will of
course help you with whatever difficulties you bring. Using
positive mental imagery and fear dissociation techniques we
can help to make sex pleasurable and relaxed for you again.
Treatment for this can be shorter or longer term. Typically, a
few nerves can be helped with 2-3 sessions, but somebody who
is chronically anxious and experiencing sexual difficulties as
a result will need perhaps 5-10 sessions.
Vaginismus is essentially a lack of lubrication in the vagina
and/or the tightening of the vaginal opening and muscles to
the degree that sex is unpleasant, painful, or impossible.
This is the female equivalent essentially to male impotence.
Possible reasons for this difficulty are varied, but again, as
with the above (premature ejaculation), it is often anxiety
related, and by dealing with your concerns around sex, and
learning to relax about sex, a resolution is usually fairly
easy to achieve. I am of course more than willing to work with
women with this difficulty, but if you would prefer to see a
woman, please contact me and I will recommend someone for you.
If you'd like some help with a difficulty, please don't be shy. I'm a professional therapist and I deal with these difficulties regularly. It really is all in a days work for me. My interest is purely to find out what the obstacle is and figure out a way to help you resolve it. Click here to book an appointment.
Alternatively, if you'd like to try some treatment which is completely private have you considered using hypnotherapy recordings at home? For many conditions, it can be surprisingly effective. Hypnosis Downloads are the market leader in recorded hypnosis for home use, with over a quarter of a million customers. They offer a no-quibble money-back guarantee if you're not satisfied with your purchase.
They are a UK company, run by experienced, qualified, practicing hypnotherapists. Their prices are shown in US Dollars, but are automatically converted at current exchange rates. Just click on the banner below to give it a try.
If you're looking for help with stress, anxiety, or depression, you may be interested in my new book - You Can Fix Your Anxiety - A Power Guide To Eliminating Stress, Anxiety, And Depression. This book will explain everything you need to know about how to recover. To learn more just click the cover...